If you pull the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk? entertainment, humor, lawyer jokes, jokes, funny, amusing, humorous, pikobello comedy, jokes  real humor, satire, funny, real funny, pleasure , romwell

An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally stressed out. 
He gives him the advice:

"I went home every afternoon for two weeks and had myself pampered by my wife. It was fantastic and it really helped. You should try it too!". 

Two weeks later when the manager arrives at his department he sees the man happy and full of energy at his desk. The faxes are piling up and the computer is running at full speed.

"I see you followed my advice?".

"I did", answers the employee, "It was great! By the way I didn't know you had such a nice house!".

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

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A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. 
Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church. 
The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention .... " 
A businessman was traveling in the train and his seat was reserved in the last couch of the train. 
Every time the train stops at station and he faced so much of problem as all shops to purchase eatables were far off. He was very upset and every time he was remembering that's all happened because I am in the last couch. 
When he got down at the destination station, he asked the station person that he wants to lodge a complaint against the railway staff. The complaints and suggestions book was given to him and he wrote: " There should not be any last couch in the train. If there is any last couch in the train, it should be kept somewhere in the middle. 
After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse. 
One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold ten percent of Arnold's wages to pay for the repairs. 
"How much will it cost?" asked Arnold. 
"About $4,500," said the owner. 
"What a relief!" exclaimed Arnold. 
'I've finally got job security!" 
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. 

" It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two." 

The boss eyed him suspiciously. " Oh, yeah? Then how you ever get here?" 

" I finally gave up," he said, " and started for home." 

Boss: "I've decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. 

"Knock knock." 

Employee: "Who's there?" 

Boss: "Not you anymore." 

Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." 

Employee: "That's because there will be fewer of us doing more work, right?" 

Boss: "Right. Except for the 'us' part." 

Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery? 

He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan. 

INTERVIEWER to job applicant: "Do you think you could come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of their house?" 
The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. 
"Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" 
"Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in." 
A young man hired by a supermarket reported to his first day of work. The manager greeted 
him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." 
" But I'm a college graduate," young man replied indignantly. 
"Oh, I apologize. I didn't know that," said the manager. " Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how." 

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A new bakery opened in the building where Weight Watchers meetings were held. One day people noticed a sign in the bakery window:

"NOTE TO WEIGHT WATCHERS - All cake sales confidential!"

The packed elevator stopped between floors. One of the passengers rang the security button and over the PA system a reassuring voice announced: 
"Nobody leave. Help is on the way!"
SIGN posted on a hospital bulletin board: 
"The community chorus will begin Monday - night rehearsals at 6 p.m. We have a special need for men's voices, but all parts are welcome."


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E-Mail.This.Book! : The Cartoon Bank
Click here to find out more From e-mail to the Internet and beyond, these 85 cartoons by such notables as Robert Mankoff, Lee Lorenz, Charles Barsotti, Jack Ziegler, Roz Chast, and Arnie Levin address the perils, fun, and foibles of all manner of cyberspace activity. The accompanying CD holds the cartoons featured in the book, plus an additional 50 that can be e-mailed, faxxed, or printed out in black-and-white or color. 

The Dilbert Principle : A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions
by Scott Adams 
click here to find out more A collection of four hundred Dilbert cartoons offers a wise and wicked look at corporate America, capturing a world of constantly changing management fads, overbearing egos, management  incompetence, bureaucracy, performance reviews, information traffic jams, and more.

Create your own Custom CD from  more than 175,000 songs

The Complete Geek : (An Operating Manual)
by John Deep, B. Tinsley (Illustrator), R. Gabriel (Illustrator), Johnny Deep 
Click here to find out more Geeks rule the world--with a straight edge, of course--and they have become the sex symbols of the '90s. The Complete Geek (An Operating Manual) is for the millions of Americans eager to jump on the hot, new fast track, because if you want a piece of the action, then you "gotta learn the language." 100 b&w illustrations. 

Tales from the Tech Line : Hilarious Strange-But-True Stories from the Computer Industry's Technical-Support Hotlines
by David Pogue (Editor) 
Click here to find out more Screamingly funny--and scarily true PC hotline tales 
It's not immodest for me to claim that these stories are so funny, you'll splurt your Sprite...I just EDITED this one! From the lady who thought her mouse was a foot pedal, to the Army general who thought the OFF switch stood for Officers--they're all here. Don't read this one in church! 

The Microsloth Joke Book : A Satire
by David Pogue (Editor) 
Click here to find out more Here's a book full of some of the funniest jabs ever thrown at the software giant. There are the classic forms, such as the light bulb jokes ("Q: How many Microsoft testers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We just notice that the room is dark. We don't fix the problems.") and standard stories. ("Bill Gates dies and sees St. Peter....") There are also riffs on popular culture ("What if Star Trek computers ran on Windows 95?"), spoofs of Microsoft press releases, a clever parody of Microsoft's marketing program written in the C programming language, and the story of Genesis told as if God were running creation on a PC.



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